False Hope

False hope. Hope – faith, trust, believing, expectation. False hope, there was so much of it along the way. In the beginning, at the very start of this ugly diagnosis…my dad had a colonoscopy. He was 58. Sure, he was supposed to start his preventative screening earlier than this. But no doctor had pushed for […]

And I’m looking for you wherever I am Hoping to find you between the sheets In the bed Under it Hiding in the shadows of the dark closet And I’m looking for you in the food I shove in my mouth That slides down my throat. In the drink that swirls in the bottom of […]

Zanzabar

I went back to my psychiatrist yesterday.  Once upon a time I was crazy.  Once upon a time seemed like a lifetime ago.  Things have been relatively stable for so long. Sure there have been battles here and there with depression, lack of energy, not having the will power to interact with people or get […]

Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?

Been thinking today about something the priest was saying at mass this weekend.  The mass I went to was said for my dad, so I think that made me pay extra attention.  It’s sort of strange.  My mom is a really devout catholic, and she raised me to be catholic, too.  But dad was never […]