I am everything for everyone. I open my veins and you suck my blood. Drawing all the life force from me. Hold me and love me. All I need is someone else. All I need is something that’s not me. All I need is more than what I have. All I need is something I don’t know. All I need is what….
I don’t know. Use me up and suck me dry and throw me away. I am disposable and plastic elastic fantastic in love with love. And all I want to do is dance and fight this monster inside my head. Wish I could have anything but what I do.
I love the more than enough. I love the not enough. I love everything that is alive and dead and in between. I love the ice queen. I love the king and the joker and all the castaways. I love life and death and the middle of it all. Like an Oreo cookie stuffed with cream.
I am the guru of self-loathing and beholding the love that’s in my shirt and in my pants and under whatever hides in the mist of the strange emotions that cost forty dollars a hit. You come to me and I come for you. And all I know is the future is there and the future is not and the future is whatever I happen to get. And I found love and I found hate and I found nothing but an awesome round of political debate.
And here I am with the life I was dealt. Riding a donkey down the mountain at your feet. And I saw it coming and I saw It going and I saw it when I was innocent and I saw it when I was guilty and I saw when I was standing and I saw it sitting and I saw it on my knees and I saw it on my knees and i saw it on my knees.
I’m torn and I’m tattered and I’m beaten and I’m battered and I’m yours and I’m theirs and I’m all that you want and all you forgot. Im everything but mine. I’m a million pieces shattered on the floor. Sweep me under the rug. I’ll cry at your feet. If I could cry at all. Id know it’s going to be okay.


3 thoughts on “torn

  1. Every word… Every thought…
    I know and I understand…
    I live it too… Some days more than the others… And I know not the way out. I don’t know if I want to go out at all… Its amazing that you have managed to put the chaos into words. I am still at loss…


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