Just when did things get like this? We were young. We were hopeful. We had dreams. We had each other. Nothing would come between us. Nothing would get in our way. Young love multiplying into an abundance of love and nothing ahead of us but hope and opportunity.

Somehow we lost our way. The loving whispers have slowly turned to bitter jabs. The things we loved about each other have slowly devolved into pet peeves and annoyance. Feelings have taken a back seat to completing tasks and checking them off the list. Stifling attempts at a meaningful life.

I should have known from the first time I started to argue with you. That these arguments would somehow become more frequent and intense. The once vowed task of going to bed perpetually happy has gone away so fast.

Is it me? Do I bring out the anger in you. Is it our kids? Do you imagine your youth slipping away every time you glance into their clear eyes. What have we done that is all horrible. What have we done?

What do I do to pass the time when I’m sitting on an explosive monkey,,? I just needed to win.

We used to have days when feeling down. We had dreams and ambitions and would push each other to succeed but now we have nothing but painful memories and pieces of happiness dangling like a small spread in space.

I used to have a partner. An advocate to believe in me and go to bat for me. I have nothing anymore. Not even a single soul who knows what my dreams are.

Hope and happiness have been replaced with sucking black holes of nothingness. You know it’s not there. And we reach in just far enough to fall in the hole.

Here I am. Goalless, joyless, loveless stuffing the small piece of me that’s left in this oversized body. Would seeing for a day make it feel again?