Conjure

Conjure up the broken image of your past
The one that was meant to last beyond the years, tears, and fears of those who loved and left
The ones who are all gone
And the ones who were never there
To lend an ear
Or lend a hair
Or lend a beautiful face
Of teeth and smiles
And all the denial that rushes through your broken face
Your face is filled with cracks that let in the sun and the snow
And everyone knows
What is wrong
And what is right
And what is black and what is grey
And full of dismay
And I would not choose what is right for you
Or me or down on my knees
I cannot choose what you have deep down my throat
And I wouldn’t choose to rock the boat
I would only choose the spot that you gave
That you laid in the grave
And I’m excited for you
And I’m excited for me
And I’m excited for the things that will never be
And I’m searching and I’m loving
And I am loathing and I am here to bear the pain
That I can’t stand to lose
Cause the pain is the only thing that is here stuck between you
And me and the truth
Of the matter
Is I fell off the ladder
And I fell of the wagon that was
Dragging the dragon
And I felt something off and I felt something on
And I felt like I want something more than I have
And I felt like I want something more than I need
And I love what I have is what you will please
And I love what I have is just a disease
And I love what I want and I love what I am
And I love what is happening to you and to me and to all that we know in between
And what makes me happy is what makes you sad
And what makes you mad is what makes me feel
And what makes me feel is what makes the seal
The seal that tightens the pain and the hurt when it
Mixes with dirt and despair and deeply in love
And the love that is falling
Like rocks from the sky
That falls on the head of the lost passersby
And it feels really good
And it feels really great
Until you realize
It is all a mistake
And it makes me want to feel more than I can
And it makes me feel like a yellow kegstand
And it makes me feel I am more than I want
And it makes me feel all I forgot
And this is the start of something to come
And this is the start of what has never begun
And this is the start of the finish line
And this is the start of coming behind
To win and to lose
And to find who I am
In the hurt and the pain and all of the cracks
Begin to begin and I am not coming back
And I’ve been in love
And I deserve what I need
And I deserve what I want in this pot that is guilt and a caldron
Of deceit and dismay and I feel sad and happy and I feel you in the sheets
And I feel the pain of the life of defeat

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2 thoughts on “Conjure

  1. What does it mean?

    “And this is the start of something to come
    And this is the start of what has never begun
    And this is the start of the finish line
    And this is the start of coming behind
    To win and to lose
    And to find who I am”

    Like

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