Love and life…

Feeling like writing something, but not really sure what. Most of the time I write about what is dragging me down, the thoughts hidden deep in the dungeon of my weirdly overactive brain. But today, I think I will write about something light and airy…it’s not even Valentine’s Day and it’s all about the love.
Sometimes the day-to-day gets in the way of things. The busy hustle and bustle of life and kids and all the other nonsense just become roadblocks on the way of life. Life gets so monotonous. It’s easy to feel bogged down and drowning in it all.
Last night the kids went to bed. I had totally had enough after making dinner and homework and baths and mediating disputes. And they just kept whining and screaming and whining. The girl was complaining of a broken foot and the boy was complaining of needing something signed for school. A paper that didn’t even exist. I couldn’t take anymore. Luckily, you ushered them to bed and somehow made them stay there.
Then we sat on the couch. I flung my feet up on your lap. This is my most happy place. On the couch with my feet in your lap. You lovingly rubbing my feet and legs. And we are watching tv and I am happy. All the craziness of the day seems to melt away into infinity and oblivion. And it is quiet. No kids and background noise. Just us and I can remember that we are in love. The reason we did all this in the first place. The reason we chose each other to be family.
And I am sitting here today. Working from home. Trying to get stuff done. Trying to write my reports, but my thoughts just turn to life and the choices I’ve made. And I think of all the ways I love you and of all the reasons why…
And I love you for all the little things. The way you stock up my pill box. The silly way you take a pair of scissors and cut the top off of all the bags of chips. They roll up quite neatly and clip them up with a chip clip. How you call the people I don’t want to talk to. How you come with me to the doctors appointments. How you pack up my lunch and go down the stairs with a broken foot to make me a cup of tea. And buy me a huge bag of laffy taffy even though I don’t need it. The way you let me waste money on silly things. The way you support me on every whim I happen to trip on over the moment. The way you let me sail far away on a cruise and watch the kids for a week without any help. And I realize that this love is life.
This silly grey area that is life. And the fact that sometime love disappears under a smothering blanket. But the love we have is unrelenting. It is beautiful. It is ugly. It is hard. Raising a family is hard. And sometimes we are thick as thieves and sometimes we are worlds apart. But what I know for sure is we are always and forever….