Down Part I.. The pain

As a healthcare provider, I look back and wonder how I didn’t see it. How I didn’t notice the obvious signs of decline or at least a serious illness in my dad. Perhaps because my dad’s life was filled with so much hidden pain that this new hidden pain was barely perceptible over the mask […]

We are all mad here

At the suggestion of several well-meaning people, I decided to give the counseling thing another try. Apparently between dad dying, regular life stress, and the anxiety of dealing with an unwanted sexual invasion, one should have an urge to spew their anxieties and feelings onto a professional who will regurgitate these said feelings, spit them […]

Easter

It is Easter Sunday. Jesus has risen from the dead and humanity is filled with hope and excitement and awe and disbelief. A man once buried has awoken from death and is alive again. Most Easters are filled with joy and peace for me. An unfulfilled promise coming to fruition. A reward for the sacrifices […]

False Hope

False hope. Hope – faith, trust, believing, expectation. False hope, there was so much of it along the way. In the beginning, at the very start of this ugly diagnosis…my dad had a colonoscopy. He was 58. Sure, he was supposed to start his preventative screening earlier than this. But no doctor had pushed for […]